Religion: Why Be A Fanatic?

Religion is not really as tricky as some people think. It's just addictive and billions are high on it. Religion is just like music. It motivates, inspires, uplifts, encourages, teaches, preaches and many other things. And just like music, it's not something you should take too seriously. It's not something you should live your daily life by. In one of his songs, Burna Boy sang: "Anybody! Wey no want to soji... nack am something." If you go, in real life, to nack something on somebody wey no want to soji, you are on your own o. That's how it is with religion too. 

There are parts of the Bible (Deu 22:20-24) that dictate that any woman who just got married and was found not to be a virgin should be stoned to death, and any rape victim who was raped in the city should be put to death because 'she did not scream'. These were the commandments of 'God' as stated by Christianity. Islam also has its own list of terrifying ideals, like Prophet Muhammad (salla Allah u alihi wa sallam) marrying a child far below 18. I'm sure no one would wish such horrible things on themselves or their kids. So why do you live your life under the influence of religion? It's like somebody living his/her life by the lyrics of his/her favourite song. You're addicted. And when many others catch the same infection, it becomes a cult and a couple years later, a movement pops up, named after the singer of that song and before you say Jack, you might just have a new religion. That's how religions are created. Some clever dude just comes up with a lot of charisma that attracts people with certain things in common and in a couple years, the group becomes a religion, just like Nation of Islam. All these things are man-made. Yes, there may be a God. Actually, I believe there is a God. There was a Jesus, there was a Muhammad, there was a Buddha. But they were just like you and me, perhaps a little smarter or maybe luckier, otherwise they're ordinary human beings. There's no need to kill yourselves over what they allegedly said that God said.

South Africa and the Madness of Xenophobia

Recent waves of xenophobic attacks from the Republic of South Africa will not come as a surprise to those who know and have been following the country and its post-Apartheid struggles. Having been nicknamed the rape capital of the world (where at least 2 women/children are being raped every minute), crimes against women, children, vulnerable, defenseless and outnumbered people is extremely high in South Africa. An inept system, twisted myths, cowardice and a culture of denialism makes the so-called rainbow nation a very dangerous place to live in.

Government report say that 41% of REPORTED rape cases in South Africa have children & infants as the victim and it's estimated that 40% of women in South Africa will be raped at least once in their lifetime (Wikipedia). Only a tiny amount of the few reported cases lead to prosecution and since members of the police force are also perpetrators, there's neither trust nor serious action taken by the government other than lip service. With at least 46 children raped and 2 children, 50 men and 8 women 'butchered' every single day... rape, assault and murder seem to be deeply rooted in the South African culture. Studies and surveys have discovered that 2 in 5 men indirectly interviewed have admitted to having forced sexual intercourse with a woman. But the most alarming part is that it is extremely prevalent among the younger generation. A CIET survey found 60% of boys and girls believed that it was not violent to force sex on someone they knew while a quarter of 1,500 schoolboys interviewed said that gang rape was fun.

The cowardly act of rape is seen by South African males as a show of power and dominance over women, the government even stupidly referring to it as an evidence of partriachy in Black culture. To them, it's a manly thing. With a society highly saturated with cowardice, violence, unemployment and lack of proper education for most Blacks, crimes like burglary, robbery and murder are the only violent acts that can stand toe to toe with rape. In a country where the men are cowardly and idle enough to rape two women every minute, it makes perfect sense that they would turn their attention to visiting foreigners who their celebrities and local politicians have accused of 'taking their jobs and women'. For one, women are loth to fall in love with rapists, so it makes sense that their long-suffering women would gravitate to the less violent foreigners. Secondly, lack of quality & standard education, laxity
and reliance on miracles from churches among Black South Africans have made them ill-prepared for gainful employment and entrepreneurship. Inept leadership and governance, coupled with incapacity and corruption of the police force has further sunk the country deeper into a quagmire of poverty and hardship for the Blacks.

After suffering for so many years under Apartheid rule - poor education, a restricted world view, lack of exposure and gross inequality; Black South Africans have moved into an even worse post-Apartheid era, where they are free to do whatever they like, but have been unable to be weaned out of the violence that formed the basis of their lives during the Apartheid era. It is like a Stockholm Syndrome. They are comfortable with violence and have even come to love it. That's why the attacks have been treated with kid gloves by the government. Many have even come forward to justify it or lousily deny it. AKA, the infamous rapper, even claimed that only two foreigners were killed in the attacks. Such is the nature of indifference among government officials and the more educated masses due to the country's culture of denialism. Rather than fix a problem, they find it easier to first, deny the facts, before downplaying it or shifting blame to someone else.

It is true, some South Africans' claim that there are a large number of foreign criminals in their country, many of them Nigerians. But there are also peaceful and law-abiding foreigners too. I remember the rush among Nigerian youth, especially those from the West and East, to travel to that country. Some go there for legitimate business, having perhaps found a better business climate in South Africa while others go there for unpure and criminal purposes, having found gaping loopholes in the South African culture and system. It is this propensity to commit cowardly acts of violence that has enabled foreign criminal elements to thrive in the country. But rather than face the problem squarely, wild South Africans launch cowardly attacks on individuals and their businesses. The more educated ones along with their government perhaps feel it would be a good thing if the foreigners are gotten rid of once and for all, so while having the education-inspired civilization and lacking the bravery to publicly support the attacks, they hide their heads in the sand like an ostrich. Some denying South Africans claimed that the xenophobic attacks were perpetrated by foreigners and a tiny amount of their people, but they failed to express remorse or sympathize with the victims, instead they were strongly intent on being mere spectators and blaming the so-called thugs. Also, they stonily refused to apply adequate or even any pressure on their government to put an end to the attacks.

Bottom line, as was seen during the anti-Apartheid struggle, the South Africans are very much capable of forcing the authorities to focus and deal with the problem of xenophobia in their country. The fact that they were not so eager to do so can only mean that they are comfortable with it and would like to see it happen again and again, albeit more clinically. South Africa is perhaps the world's most violent nation during peacetime and currently, there are no indications of the abatement of this evil record. Therefore, it would be in the interests of every peace loving person, especially women and children, to stay entirely away from this fractured country.

Fly, baby. Fly

As a parent, you are the default legal custodian/guardian of your children. It means that you get to care for and supervise the children until they reach a certain age of independence and maturity. But if the law does not feel comfortable with your style of custodianship/guardianship, it will swing into action by taking away the children (though there's no guarantee that they would be treated any better by their new custodians) 

But here in Africa, parents aren't custodians/guardians, they are owners. In this continent, a man gives birth to children, gives them names, brands them with hideous marks and then puts them to work like farm animals. He sits back and counts them like chickens and like God, he feels satisfied with his work. He can treat them however he likes, because they and their mother are his property for life. In fact, they don't have rights. They are not humans and can never be humans without his permission. You can be sure that such children will grow up with a restricted view of life. They will lack wide imagination and their dreams and aspirations would be limited to their owner's farm and house. It's like buying a horse from a nearby local breeder. If not well secured, it will return to the farm where it was bred. Remember White Fang in Jack London's hit novel? He kept returning to his (mother's) owner even after he had been sold. It's a similar case with a number of African youths who have chosen not to move along with the world and instead remain in their owners farm simply because the homing magnet is very strong. It's all well and good to farm, produce food and run the nation's economy from the village, but if you remain in that little comfort zone of yours, you will learn nothing new. Your only aim would be to cultivate your owner's land and then inherit it after he dies and then your children will tow the same line. Meanwhile, you're locked out from the rest of the world and you have no idea that there are much better and more effective farm machinery than the hoe and the cutlass. Your ancestors used the hoe, cutlass and sharpening stone. You have used the same tools to work for your owner and after his death, you used them to work for yourself and your children will eventually inherit them after you die. Those tools would only be replaced when they are broken or lost, no new and better ones would be forged because you lack the education/exposure that will fuel and enrich your imagination. 

This whole phenomenon is the basic structure of many African societies which has followed a lot of them into the 21st century and has gone as high as the Federal level. Nigeria is one such example. In this country, there is no development because both the government and the people keep repeating old actions day after day and expecting progress all the while. That's actually the definition of madness. We really need to see a psychiatrist! If we must stop crawling and fly like other nations, we must ignore the constant beep of the homing signal and go in search of knowledge/exposure. Because your ancestors did it that way doesn't mean you should also do it that same way. There's a reason why your ancestors lived in the Stone Age while you're living in the Information Age. We must be ready to learn, unlearn and relearn with ease. From our past, we must 'Absorb what is useful, discard what is not and add what is uniquely your own.' - Bruce Lee.

Terrorism n Us

Make no mistake about it, but Nigeria is a far greater terrorist nation than most, if not all, Middle Eastern nations. Those guys over there are just fighting for their lives, ideologies or Western handlers. But here in Nigeria, there are millions of terrorist organizations fighting for more stupid reasons. Not only the Boko Haram, suspected herdsmen, IPOB, Shi'ites, the police, the military and the FG. All these are clearly terrorist organizations, but I'm talking now of the powerful sleeper cells that are even more dangerous than and provide manpower for these big organizations. These sleepers are the Nigerian people. I repeat, the Nigerian people. A terrorist is anyone who creates terror or fear in the hearts and minds of others and that's what Nigerians are good at nowadays. So a terrorist organization is any two or more Nigerians coming together with the same aim/objective. I'll explain.

You'll agree with me that our politicians are indirect terrorists, or rather, they sponsor terrorism. Bad roads, election violence, bad schools, bad economy, bad hospitals, etc. All these cause fear in our hearts. Who doesn't feel scared if they don't have any choice but to pass through one of the dilapidated roads in the country? Who doesn't feel fear when elections are approaching or when you're going to cast your vote? So if politicians are terrorists or sponsors of terrorism, who are these politicians? They are part of the Nigerian people! Yesterday, they were ordinary Nigerians, but today, they are politicians.. terrorists. The lawless policemen are also from the Nigerian people. Same with the brutal military and mindless paramilitary. Same with the lecturers who ask for sex in exchange for marks and threaten to fail the students if they don't comply. Same with the cultists. Same with every bad group of people in the country. They are not from Ghana, they are all Nigerians. They create fear in our hearts, but it was from us they came. We not only swell their ranks, but we also provide and shape their ideology.

Let there be a group of two or more Nigerians, then put one of them as the leader. There is a very big probability that the funds meant for or contributed by the group would be embezzled or misappropriated by the leader. And any group member who tries to stop him would be crushed or thrown out. He will oppress the group members and rule with force, impunity and terror. He will make them fear him, either with the use of thugs, threats or charms, or all three. This is what happens in government, in churches, in organizations and even in the family! It happens between brother and sister. When you give the children their food and you go away, the boy would take the girl's slightly bigger portion and give her his. If she tries to complain, he'll tell her to shut up, threatening to beat her or reminding her that Papa and Mama said she should always respect him because he's the man. This is us. This is Nigeria. This is terrorism in us. 

Is Our Hope Alive?

There is a saying that 'Nigerians are happy because they hope to be happy'. Though we are one of the most miserable nations on earth, we are still a very happy people. We're in a state of what Fela termed 'suffering and smiling'. Despite immense hunger, being the world's poverty capital, and lack of gainful employment, we still manage to work our facial muscles into a smile. But when you hear of so many Nigerians committing suicide with so much ease and frequency, you just have to ask, is that hope still here? Is it still alive?

#MeTooCampaign: Missing The Target

I daresay that the #MeToo movement, especially in Nigeria is fast becoming a dangerous nuisance. The recent wave of rape accusations against some well-known men is quite overwhelming. I call it too much information with no information. Coming to the social or traditional media to accuse someone of rape is nothing short of character defamation. What do you hope to achieve by doing that? You cannot get justice that way. Anyone can accuse anyone. That doesn't mean the accuser is right and the accused guilty. There are due processes that must be followed. There's the police and the courts. Naturally ineffective, I know. But before you come to fill our ears with your rape stories, go and report it first to those who are saddled with the responsibility to do something about it and we will make sure they do their job. But if you report to us alone, what can we do?? If I were the person you accused, I would simply sue you for defaming my character or counter-accuse you of being a drug addict who is mentally ill. At the end of the day, the matter will die a natural death or you will get into the trouble you were setting up for me. 

Looking at the COZA pastor case for instance, he has been forced to resign and well, that's about it. He would take legal action against his accuser as is his right and so far, he remains very innocent. But if the accusation was made through the right channels, he would have had a basket-load of trouble on his hands! If forcing him to resign was the accuser's aim, I daresay it was a very lame one. Being out of office doesn't stop him from continuing the crime, does it? He could go start a church of his own and go on to continue what he was accused of! In fact, the way the accusation was made has put the life of the accuser and that of millions of other women in danger. Such highly placed offenders will surely learn from this and decide to hunt down their old victims before they get the chance to speak out, while aspiring offenders would create a dangerous to-do checklist so they would not end up being accused too. So instead of bringing justice, this new wave of improper accusations would increase the chances of murder, threat, blackmail and further assault of rape victims by their attackers. It would also bore the initially sympathetic public and turn them against the alleged victims or accusers. All these would add up to totally discourage women/girls who have been raped to speak out to the right people. 

Accuse whoever you like, but just do it right. For your own sake and that of others like you.

"Rot in the system"

Recently, I was watching a brief summary of the presentation of the report of the transition committee set up in one of those Northern states. I knew exactly how it would end and yes, they didn't disappoint. The new governor bemoaned the failure of the immediate past administration and claimed that everything in the state was in pieces blah blah blah. We are very familiar with this, right? But have you ever stopped to think that such things are well-organized schemes to fool the people? When a new governor or president is elected, he quickly goes ahead to discredit his predecessor by outlining the debt, corruption and lack of funds in the treasury, and then he concludes by saying that 'even though we met a lot of rot in the system, we will try our best to pick up the pieces and put things in order'. In the next four years, he would do just that: pick up the pieces. At the end of his tenure, when you ask him why things are still bad, he'll say, "You know, we met a lot of rot in the system." That's the standard excuse. By the time he leaves office and his successor is elected and if that successor is from a different party, he'll also tell you that he met a lot of rot in the system and that he'll try to pick up the pieces. This is the excuse that they all use to cover-up for their deliberate failures and the funny part is that it never expires. Nigerians will continue to buy it. So as they get poorer, the politicians get richer. Why on earth can't we pull the scales from our eyes???

LEAVE THEM ALONE! 2 - Minding the African Business

Being victims of racism is not really a big problem for Blacks. One of our major problems is that we're too full. We're too full of good things, but too much of everything is bad. Take an empty barrel for instance. It's so noisy and troublesome. You call that a White man? Correct! Someone like Trump. But look at a barrel that's full. You know it's problem? It can't move! While the empty barrel is noisily rattling off to new things, the full one is just stuck there, grumbling. That's the Black man! Someone from Nigeria especially. 

Mundayan Living quoted Muhammad Ali as saying that despite all his success, America would always have its White idol and someone commented, saying: 'Was Ali really that insecure?' It made me smile bitterly. Because Ali and many other Black Americans are really very insecure. So insecure, bitter and angry that they can sometimes look very scary to not only Whites, but other Blacks. Think one-time racist, Malcolm X whom I think America honors out of fear than respect. Now, these guys, those of them that have decided to work hard, will always crane their necks to look at how the White man is faring. Is that really necessary? Why can't you just mind your business? Why do you think you should always be ahead of the White man? We're all equals! At least until somebody claims to be superior. Even then, it's not our job to answer them. Actions, they say, speak louder than words. And you don't have to act because the White man is watching or because you wanna prove a point. You have to act because you have to act, because you can act, because you should act, because you MUST act!

AFRICA: A Continent Misrepresented

I think I just found a few words to represent what I've been trying to communicate for some months now: "Africa is not a continent for Blacks alone". 

When people think of Africa, what comes to their mind is 'Blacks' or a 'Black country'. Black Americans regard themselves by default to be African-Americans. That's wrong! Africa is a continent. It is not a country, or a town, or a village like most Americans think. Africans are not a bunch of similar-colored straws, we are a very diverse continent. This great continent houses Whites, Arabs, different shades of Black, and even Semitics and semi-Hispanics. 

Let me give you an example to make things a little clearer. If you say you're in America and the weather's quite warm, I might think you're a liar. Why? Because my friend who's also in America tells me it's cold over there. But the truth is you can both be right! How? My friend could be in Chile and you can be in the US, but you're both in America! The same applies to Africa. We're also spread over two hemispheres. We have thousands of languages, over 50 different countries, different currencies, different flags, different religions, different forms of government, different laws, different mindsets, different climates, etc. etc. So it is very imperative you think of us as a continent, not as some obscure place. 

The word 'African-American' is wrong and abnormal. Compare it to British-Nigerian. Do they look alike? Of course not! One's nation-nation, another's continent-nation. Not everyone who's Black is African. So a Black person who's an American is a Black American. Everyone who's a citizen of and belonging to countries in the continent of Africa is an African, be he Black, Arab, or White!

LET'S BELIEVE IN US!

What the Americans have built doesn't necessarily have a reward system. You can call it propaganda, but it's well done and it works (though it's not so effective nowadays). It makes them have goosebumps, teary eyes, puff their chest and say with pride that their country is the greatest in the world. The old Brits and Americans would do it, but which Nigerian would do it? When I say my country is the greatest in the world, people (both Blacks and Whites) look at me like I'm mad. Yes, my country is the world's greatest! I know it, I believe it and I can prove it! If every African can do the same, Africa would be the one offering aid to Europe and America! It's because we don't believe in ourselves that's why we're behind. The Whites would be Okay if they don't believe we're great, but we would be sick if we believe them.

SLAVERY WAS AND IS STILL OUR CHOICE

Someone was once quoted as saying 'slavery is a choice' (was it Kanye?). It is actually the truth. Slavery is a choice. A lot of horrors happened during the slave trade era and the White man did a lot of evil things to Blacks, but you know the worst form of slavery that the Blacks went through? It was the slavery of their own minds! They could have set their minds free, but they didn't! That's what makes it a choice, their choice. There are many angles to this, but I'll highlight only a few. One: Many of the slaves were captured and sold to the Whites by their fellow Blacks. Two: Several attempts/plans to escape from slavery were foiled by some of the slaves themselves. Three: There is a big difference between love of life/hope and cowardice. The slaves were mostly cowards. They hardly ever stood toe to toe with their enslavers. They preferred to die from beatings than to die while resisting the beatings. Four: Many of the slaves allowed 'sticks and stones' to not only break their bones but to also break their souls. Five: They generally lacked unity or the nerve for open solidarity thereby throwing away all their leverages. Six: They nursed fear until it became even bigger than their enslavers and it controlled them completely. Lastly: The dependence of (Black) African leaders on their White superiors shows that we not only chose to be slaves centuries ago, but we still remain slaves till today! 

The White man came here, only to find people who never really loved one another, people who could not think for themselves but had to consult wood and iron to make decisions for them, people who were base enough to capture, kill and eat one another. It would have been extraordinarily kind and not very human if they hadn't taken advantage of the situation.

MOVING FORWARD

It's common to hear some Africans foolishly suggest that we need a bloody revolution to move forward. Yes, it's actually not totally untrue. Development usually follows such things, depending on the leaders involved. I mean, after the Nigerian Civil War, came our first and last major development in infrastructure and other areas. Rawlings' cleansing was what made Ghana move to its current manageable height today. Rwanda's genocide was the prelude to their development which has now put them on top of Africa. Same thing in South Africa and a few other places. But even though bloodshed has produced such results, it doesn't make it the best solution. The best solution is actually much more simpler and easier. 

 

Africa's biggest problem is lack of love. If you can't love your neighbor, love yourself at least. Develop yourself, gather knowledge, travel (if you can), keep an open mind and stop adopting twisted theories. If we all do this, Africa would automatically shoot upward. But we have to do it carefully and quietly, so our enemies would not know what we are up to.

2019 JAMB CUT-OFF MARK: Nigeria's Mockery Of Quality Education

Recently, the Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board (JAMB) wey be the join body wey dey concerned with the admission of students into tertiary institutions brought up the university admission cut-off mark to 160 out of the total 400 marks. This amounts to 40% which is within the range of F9 or Fail in a fair grading system. So if a secondary school graduate can 'fail' UTME and go on to end up in a university, why on earth will he study hard to pass out in flying colors? It shows that the entire educational system has failed! They claim that the cut-off mark is lowered to enable more students pass, but we all know that at the moment, there are not enough universities to accommodate all those that have passed with good grades, so instead of reducing it, why on earth are they trying to increase their population by adding failures to them?? Must everyone, especially the dull ones, go to a university? Why do vocational training programmes exist? It is clear that the managers of our education sector have only one objective. It's like Sgt. Maj. Blane in The Unit (S2) said: "We're here to make you fail!" 

For starters, the education curriculum is faulty and hugely outdated, the schools are dilapidated, the teachers themselves are mentally, psychologically, academically and financially dilapidated! The exam fees are high and we lead the world in poverty! After all these, the government seeing that there are many students who have passed the UTME exams and still have not gotten admission, decided to set up the Foundation Programme, not for those that passed but for those that failed! After that, they went on to reduce the cut-off marks so that more failures would stand a chance of getting admission ahead of those that passed since by the time it gets to them, the universities would already be full with failures and would no longer be accepting students! Isn't this heartless and wicked, not only to the brilliant students, but also to the Nigerian nation at large? Why are they discouraging the youths from passing exams and thereby blocking the nation's progress??? When I was younger, failing exams was something every student dreaded and every parent hated, but nowadays, it's a norm! Failing exams is very normal not only for students, but also for their parents and the rest of the society! Some years ago, I heard a student boasting that he had failed WAEC four times. He wasn't feeling bad about it, instead he was happy and smiling and his chest was puffed with pride! Oh Nigeria, where are we headed??

Thinking Out Loud: The numbness/deadness of our government agencies

When I was little, one common attribute of law students or practicing lawyers was eloquent speech, latin maxims and big words that you couldn't find in any dictionary weighing below 1kg. But nowadays, even practicing lawyers who are senior advocates speak like or even worse than illiterates. An average lawyer cannot complete a sentence without a string of em.. em.. em. Months ago, I watched the Solicitor-General of the nation on TV and I was shocked. The man could hardly deliver a sensible sentence in a comprehensive manner! Epiphany Azinge is the dream model of many lawyers today, but I can tell you that his oratory skills is nothing compared to local Urhobo musicians of those days not to mention 2nd year law students! Prof. Yemi Osinbajo is the only lawyer I can point to when you talk of eloquence. He seems like one out of a million. 

 

I heard some days ago how a non-lawyer worked with lawyers in a state judicial system for years until he was caught. And I asked, 'how can lawyers not be able to detect an impostor in their midst for several years??' This exact same thing happened when a non-doctor became the head of the NMA, the body that controls everything medical in the country. And he spent a long time in the position! It baffles me how doctors cannot detect such an impostor! Such things have become quite a norm in every sector. And one surprising thing is that all or most of the people that were fooled were products of our educational system when it was still manageable. So think of us in some decades to come when our current failed educational system would be what has produced all our leaders... it will be a disaster! Our president might have a PhD and not be able to read!

HATRED FOR READING

As a passionate writer and avid reader, I understand the relationship between reading and development. In fact, the most foolish people are those who don't read. And the poorest countries are nations that don't care about reading. Take Nigeria for instance, the only kind of books you find in large quantity are below standard textbooks, Bibles and spiritual books. That tells you the direction the nation is headed. It is no wonder that we house the largest amount of paupers on earth. Not only financial paupers but mental paupers. They are so poor that there are holes in their brains and their pockets, so no matter what you put in them, it always falls off. The source of the problem is hatred for reading! The students don't want to read, their parents 'don't have time' te read, their teachers in many cases cannot read... so at the end of the day, the only authors that thrive are the pastors, because their books are fantastic and promising. They offer you ways in which you can use prayers to kill all your enemies, get a wife, make billions and enter into heaven. Can I hear a very loud Halleluyah! You don't have to work, you just have to read the Bible, pray and pay your tithes even though you have no source of income. Halleluyah! Like Fela sang, 'My people dem go dey follow Imam (Amen); dey follow Pope (Amen); dey follow arcbishop (Amen)..." So the 'men of God' keep swindling them and raping their kids at the same time and the blind sheep continue to cheer them on. 

 

Now let's look at other countries. One of the reasons why Jeff Bezos was recently ranked the world's richest man was because he owns Amazon and one of the reasons why Amazon is very well known is because it sells books amongst other things. This company controls the world of ebook sales and no one else comes close. But you find that they have little or no presence in the world's second most populated continent, Africa. When it comes to books, they make so much money concentrating mostly on the US and some parts of Europe. But I believe that if Amazon were to establish its presence here, it would grow a thousand fold in the sale of everything except.. books! Everybody here wants flashy cars, fine jewelry and designer clothes, but nobody wants to read, even if the book is free. Have you ever seen a modern Nigerian who's not a self-sponsoring student save money to buy books? Bah! Abomination! What does he need books for? There's a new shoe in town or there's a new girl in the area who turns down all the guys that ask her out. These are the most important things in life! After wearing out the shoe and banging the girl six ways from Sunday, what has he achieved? Abso-fuckin-lutely nothing! In fact, he's worse off than when he started. So the next thing he does is to blame the government! Of course, the government also created a large share of the problem. There is absolutely no sensible modern library in Nigeria and yet this is the 7th most populated nation on the planet. Bookstores are a rarity. Unless you sell Bibles, substandard textbooks, Qurans and spiritual/prayer books, then you should never think of opening a bookstore. Most fiction books you will find around are distributed by the education ministry and must be forced on the students, but still, a sizeable number of them will never go past the first few pages. If it were books about how to make millions in 5 minutes without stress or how to bang a girl non-stop for 5 hours without getting tired. Aha! Now you're talking. But how can such knowledge move us and our nation forward?

LACK OF DECENCY IN OUR SERVICEWOMEN

Even though this issue is simple and straightforward, I still don't know where to start. When I think about it, it makes me wanna puke. I watch official functions on TV, I walk on the road, I walk past military bases.. all I see is Nigerian servicewomen looking worse than prostitutes. And they're in uniform! Skin-tight, butt-expressing uniforms! All the curves are there for anyone who cares to look and I'm sure a lot of servicemen care to look. I may not be in the military, but I know enough about that organization to be sure that its biggest foundation is discipline and one of the biggest components of military discipline is appropriate dressing. So if our servicewomen are dressing the way they are currently dressing, then it's safe to say that our military lacks discipline and a military that lacks discipline should not be called a military. Women in the service were hired to carry out several duties. Whether they can or do carry them out is a story for another day, but the big question is: Is being a sex idol one of those duties??

 

PS: It seems this is now and inspiration for other female uniformed women, including gatekeepers!

NIGERIAN NAVY: Uniform & Uniformity 1

Looking at the Nigerian Armed Forces, it's not really an inspiring sight for many reasons. But the least inspiring of them is the Nigerian Navy for so many reasons. Today I'll talk about a certain part of the uniform: the insignia of Naval ratings, especially the standard white and blue tops. I also have issues with the insignia on the new general camouflage, but that's a story for another day. My focus now is on the size and pattern of the insignia on the uniforms of Naval ratings. 

I see a lot of Navy personnel regularly (their general behavior is a not-very-beautiful story for another day) and I notice a lot of things, their insignia being one of them. The insigne of an average Naval rating is way too tiny and bad-looking. And in my experience, there is very little to no uniformity in insignia among ratings, especially the rank of Seaman. Sizes are very different and they're all very small and patterns are extremely very diverse. In only one Naval command, I've seen dozens of very different looking Seaman insignia and some were as small as only a few inches in area. This is actually a direct opposite to what I see on the arms of Airforce and Army personnel. The Navy seems worse than the Police which leaves its personnel to provide their entire uniform for themselves. As a result, everyone designs what he/she likes, so some look like gatemen, professional dancers, messengers, etc. Most times, I have to squint at the tiny cap badge to identify them as Naval personnel. For Christ's sake, even Boys Scout and Man-o-war does better, why the hell is the Navy the way it is? I can't attempt to call on the authorities to do anything about this since that would be no better than talking to myself, but I do hope that one day soon, our Navy will get the right leadership that would fix this and many other problems.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

The President and members of his party will always say, 'PDP is to blame. They have to tell us what they did with Nigeria's money for 16 years.' You know, I came across a joke some years ago. Here it is: 

 

 ~A happy couple, any time they had sex, the man would always insist the lights be turned off first. It continued for a very long time and the woman kept wondering why on earth her husband always wanted the lights off. One night, while they were in the middle of the operation, the woman suddenly turned on the lights. Yep, she did, and she saw something shocking. Her husband had been using a battery-operated sex toy! She went bonkers and told him, "You better start explaining this!" He replied and said, "Okay, darling. I'll explain the toy, and you'll explain the kids." ~ 

 

So I'm saying to Mr. President and his cheerleaders, "If you want PDP to explain their 16 years, that's Okay. Provided you also explain your 4 years. What did you do with all the loans and annual budgets in the last four years? Or did PDP steal them too under your watch? Yes, we know that we have to know where we are coming from before we know where we are going to, but you forget that there's something else in between: where we currently are. So, Buhari and party, where are we now?"

Weapons or Development: Which Do We Need More?

I like it.. love it when I hear policy analyst Rotimi Sankore say that 'no army can defeat poverty, hunger and unemployment'. That's the summary of the Nigerian situation. All the states of emergency that have been declared, the Python Dances, the Crocodile Smiles and so on, the source of those problems that these operations are meant to contain are nothing but poverty, hunger and unemployment. No army has ever defeated those three terrorists. Even if we have ten or even hundred times the amount of soldiers that we currently have, the only thing that will happen is that the state of insecurity will only get worse. Let's branch out a little.
 

I heard some weeks ago that the South Korean minimum wage is $1,200. Yes, one thousand and two hundred dollars. Our own is how much? About $80. I also heard that in South Korea, most of their police force don't usually carry arms. Handguns, I mean. Our own here even take home their assault rifles. Then let's look at Switzerland, one of the most comfortable nations in the world. I heard some time ago that they have no standing army. Same thing with Iceland and Japan. So let's come back to Nigeria. We don't even have a standing army, we have a jumping one. They're everywhere, fighting one problem or the other and dying like ownerless chickens in the process. The rest of the world are 'helping and supporting us' by sending more weapons, jets and helicopters. The little money we have that has not yet been spirited away by monkeys or swallowed by snakes, we also spend it in buying weapons and in the process, the money can develop engine problem and will eventually make an emergency landing in somebody's pocket. Diaris God. 

 

So we deploy expensive planes, helis, tanks, men, boats and so on to combat various degrees of crime and violence, spending so much money in the process. That is, not including the amounts that will be inflated by commanders of the various forces. You know how we do it in 9ja na. 'The vehicle patrolled 20km in 5hours and spent 500 litres of petrol', while in reality, the vehicle has not moved an inch for the past two days. Again, there is God. So after spending all this money, the rate of kidnapping keeps increasing all around the nation except in the imagination of the Chief of Naval Staff. Oga, wei done sir. It's not easy to be short. But sometimes, what we lack in height, we usually make up in imagination. Ahem.. So like I was saying before I stopped to salute Oga, we spend so much on security, including security votes which easily run into millions of dollars, but kidnapping, banditry and terrorism are steadily on the rise. Well, the usual government reaction is the blame game which is currently in full force. Those of you who know this Fela song: 'You be thief (I no be thief), You be rogue (I no be rogue), You be robber (I no be robber), You be armed robber (I no be armed robber), Argument argument argue...' So instead of treating the root cause of our problems, we buy weapons and accuse one another of fueling the insecurity. Our problems are hunger, poverty and unemployment, the lack of which makes Japan, South Korea, Iceland and Switzerland relatively very safe despite their security policy. Our government cannot pretend that they do not know our problems and even the solutions too, but a tenant that has just finished building his own house and has already packed all of his property will not care if his landlord's house is on fire because he has nothing in it. It's now solely his landlord's problem. Our leaders have Europe and America to run to when this nation will begin to collapse and those enemies of our progress will welcome them while denying the poor ones visas. Many African governments are now being run from London and Paris. Like Falz sang, 'four-year tenure, three-year holiday (hey hey, three-year holiday)'. Anyway, no be me talk am o!

LOCAL GOVERNMENT AUTONOMY

From time to time, I hear people blasting the Federal and state governments about the local governments' autonomy. Some people say that the governors sit on the local government chairmen and do not give them any sort of freedom and so on and so forth. As usual, I'll ask a question. Are the local government chairmen (and their equivalents) uncomfortable under the current state of things? My answer is No! Why? Here are my reasons. 

I strongly maintain that despite their complaints about not having enough freedom, the local government heads are far from uncomfortable. Everyone has to understand that autonomy was taken away from them for a reason. That reason is understood by the states, federal government and legislature. Unless a miracle will occur, local governments will never be autonomous in Nigeria. The idea to 'sit on their heads' is much better than most people think. In a sensible nation with patriotic and kind-hearted citizens, local governments are supposed to be autonomous, but we all know our Naija. Lack of employment, poor infrastructure, decayed education sector, failed power sector, frustration of small and medium businesses, etc. All these things and much more are blamed on the Federal and state governments, but no one has ever cared to look closely enough to discover that the blame should actually be on the local governments. Why? Because almost every inch of this country belongs to a local government. If the local government heads do their jobs, we would not need the Federal or state governments to do anything. But you will reply and say, 'the local government heads can't do their jobs because they have no autonomy! The states control everything they do!' No, you're very wrong. Let me put it to you that most of the local government heads, at least in Southern Nigeria, do not lack the ability or resources to develop the areas under them. The LGs engage in a variety of things that provide revenue, one of the most lucrative of which are illegal and double taxation. The profit from this sector alone is massive and enough to develop the local government areas, but it will all go into the pockets of the

chairman or his equivalent. 

 

I once had a conversation with a young businessman who sold a product that I regularly consumed. I asked him why he sold it so expensive when he had bought it so cheap from the market and then he proceeded to give me a breakdown of how much he pays to the local government authorities, traditional authorities and the owner of his shop. My jaw fell effortlessly and since then, I never haggled with him. The amounts he mentioned were mind-blowing. The same thing applies to the meat seller, the tomato seller at the market, the okada rider, etc. Depending on the area where they do business, they will be taxed by the community youths, traditional rulers, their market association, sometimes their product sellers' association and the local government. These are poor, helpless people helping the economy, themselves and the rest of us in their own little way, but the local governments and other local 'authorities' are always on ground to frustrate their efforts and increase their suffering. And you're blaming the Federal government for the failure of small and medium scale businesses? There are many sources of revenue, legitimate and illegitimate, for the LGs and they stop at nothing to milk these sources dry. They make very massive amounts of money and account for only a micro fraction. These monies can easily provide independent power, good roads, good schools, and water supply for the local government areas, but the LG head takes it all for himself. And you expect his state governor to give him more money along with autonomy so he can steal it and further oppress his people? What are they currently doing with the autonomy they have over the money they make? I admit that the state governors are not saints, but I can confidently tell you that if they are wicked, then the LG heads are the representatives of Satan himself.

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Please listen. I want it to end now. I don't wanna hear it anymore. Let's stop it immediately, right this minute. If you haven't guessed what I mean, I'm talking about the grumblings by many Nigerians that it was the British that created the problems we face today. It is nothing short of a lie and a myopic one at that. As matter of fact, I believe that Nigeria was one of those colonies that saw the best side of colonialism. I may go into the proof some other time, but certainly not now. Now is the time I have chosen to remind you about something:  

 

The British were big colonialists with so many colonies in hand, many of which obtained relatively easy independence under the lovely Queen Elizabeth II. (You just cannot hold a grudge against the old girl). Some of those colonies include what is now known today as India, the US, The Bahamas, Israel, Canada, Australia, South Africa, Qatar, UAE, Pakistan, etc. All these nations were once under British rule, protection, ownership, etc. Some gained independence before us and others after us, but one thing they all did was that they grew while we retrogressed. They are all from different parts of the world, different climates, timezones, races, possess unequal resources and many other distinguishing factors, but the fact remains that they are all better than we are and yet, we are all former British colonies. So I'm asking those of you who say Britain is the source of our problems: What special curse did they place on our country that they forgot to place on other of their colonies? I remember that the Brits brought education and religion, two beautiful things that we have managed to use against our own selves to the extent that some of us are even going abroad to convert those that originally converted us. 

 

When a child drops out from school and goes on to become a failure in life, can you blame his teacher? Or when a group of students in the same class write a regional examination and one fails woefully while the rest do very well, is the fault with the teacher or the student? What made Qatar and UAE what they are today, 48 years after independence from the same British that colonized us? Are they smarter than we are or did the Brits leave them with magical powers? I admit that the British were and are still not saints, but they did quite well for us. What they did in India, if they had done it here in Nigeria, would we have continued to exist till today? Despite everything, India are moving forward and they are far ahead of us to the extent that we import rice and even garri from them. It's the British that told us to do so, abi? No matter what anyone has done to you in the past, it falls on you to pick your life up and move the hell forward! The Jews survived a genocide and went on to form a country. They fought many wars with their neighbors and conflict with Palestine is still very active, yet they are doing extremely well for themselves. What about the Rwandans, Serbs, Croats, Ukrainians, Vietnamese? The worst we had was slave trade and Civil War. The first, we were actively involved in it and the second, it was within us. After the trouble with the British at their arrival and before Independence, we came out stronger and better, but instead of building on it, we killed it. If things had turned out differently, would we have had anything to blame the British for? 

 

All our existing infrastructure is from the British. Yes, because the military that built them were British-trained. Show me one sensible infrastructure (physical or not) that doesn't have links with the Brits. Are there any? When the Brits were here, we said 'Go!' Now that they're gone, we're saying 'they are the cause of our problems'. Doesn't that sound like a mentally unstable adult or a spoilt child? All those who have gained independence have made the best out of it, so what's stopping us from doing the same? It's simple. We're irresponsible and wicked! There's no love, no sense of responsibility and no unity. The perfect recipe for continuous failure. Leave the Brits alone, it's been 59 years since they left you alone! Rwanda's genocide was just 25 years ago. Look at them today. Are we not ashamed? Ah ah, for what na?! The person wey swear for us, how him take arrange the swear? Military did this, British did that... Na only you dem do?? Get up and fight your way forward!

Nigerian Women In Big Cars

When we were little, we used to regard women's motorcycles (women usually drove the small Qlink-kind of motorcycles) as harmless because their riders being females were always careful. Men, on the other hand, were much more dangerous with their big, noisy 'bikes'. So, crossing the road when a female motorcycle was just a few feet away was something we did with leisure and non-chalance since the woman would be patient, slow and careful. But if a man was coming on his bike half a kilometer away, we knew to stay clear off the road completely. Sitting outside your house which was by the roadside didn't make you any safer than if you were standing in the middle of the road. We'd never heard of accidents involving women's bikes, but accidents involving men's bikes was something that occurred many times a day and the crazy part was that most of the accidents were caused and suffered by the same bike. But I digress. What I really want to talk about is cars and female drivers.

Now, in some parts of Lagos, it's not uncommon to see a woman riding a big car. But I'd like to ask, how many driving schools do we have in Lagos. In all my time here, I've seen two and heard of one. Of course, there would surely be others, but certainly not as many as they should be. And looking at the entire structure and organization of some of these schools, it's nothing but outright nonsense. By the way, how many people especially women patronize these schools? A lot of people learn how to drive from a friend or family member and most likely in an open garage. An informal, incomplete form of training that teaches you how to change gear, reverse, brake, accelerate and use the horn among some other things. Most times, both teacher and student have no idea about many road signs or driving regulations. It is very normal to see a woman drive very slowly and carefully, not only because women are naturally calm and careful, but also because she's not a very good driver. In a car of say three to three and half yards in length, it could take some women twenty to thirty minutes to actually make a U-turn on a road of almost 10 yards in width. It can be very funny when you see them taking the car back and forth like a duck fowl doing a traditional Igbo dance. Then talk of those women who want to negotiate a curve. That might take some of them a whole ten minutes. If it's a big car, needing good height and strength to handle properly, it will be closer to fifteen. They will look left, right, back, stretch their necks to see ahead and below and then repeat the entire process before moving a few inches forward and the cycle continues. Reversing is yet another drama. The funniest happens in a bank's parking space. Some women will have to undergo a fresh driving lecture from the security men before they can park their cars. "Go like this. Ehen ehen, hold am like that. Oya, turn come. Dey come, dey come. No no no, hold am.. No, turn am like that...."

To be frank, I'm yet to see the actions of these women directly threaten the safety of pedestrians, but it certainly is adding to the anger and frustration of every road user when they block the road with big cars they can't handle. They are also risking their own lives by being sitting, clueless ducks on ill-constructed roads full of crazy male drivers of heavy-duty vehicles, insane male motorcycle riders, portholes and fellow inexperienced or underaged drivers of the opposite sex. I really do not know why a woman who's not very good at driving, measuring 5ft. 1in. and weighing 110lb would want to drive a car as large as a Pathfinder jeep. She cannot see much of the road ahead and when she finds herself in an unfamiliar or tight situation, she lacks the strength to control the car optimally. It clearly is a recipe for disaster. Most big cars look like coffins, and believe me, they can easily land you in one. You can show off with a small car, a bicycle or even a Keke NAPEP. Why play with your life by showing off with a big car on Nigerian roads when you cannot even drive very well?

Nigeria's Security Strategies: Our Open Secrets

It's a common trend for Nigerian security agencies to come to national TV and announce important security strategies in detail. The latest I heard was the Police outlining in detailed form how it hoped to go after and catch certain groups of criminals. And I ask, who are they fooling, me or themselves? Do they think everyone is foolish enough not to think that these criminals have television sets or listen to the news or have family members/accomplices who do? How can you destroy Boko Haram when all your vital plans are always on the evening news? Do you even really want to destroy them or are you seeking to do a form of eyeservice shake-body, telling the Nigerian people, 'Hey, you dey see me? I'm working very hard o!'
 

New security threats keep arising and they can not be contained because the deployment and strategies of all the security agencies can be found on TV, radio and newspaper. The criminals can easily know what class,

departments, ranks and number of security agents that are at any and every part of the country at all times. And then, the IG, the Defense Chief, COAS and Minister of Defense will come out to complete the dossier by telling everyone exactly what the troops will be doing, how they will do it and when they will do it. They feel proud and comfortable giving out these information because no matter what happens, they are safe in Abuja. Last last, na the deployed soldiers and policemen go die. What will happen to the money meant for their families, only God can tell which pocket that one go enter. So my biggest question is, why play politics and eyeservice with vital information about the security of this great nation of 200 million people? The dividends of democracy are the provision of good roads, sound education, constant power, good healthcare, good economy.. not security strategy. Haba!

What Is Our Police Force Doing?

In almost every sensible nation on the planet, the police is the first line of internal security. But in Nigeria the first line of internal security is the Army. Why? 
One, the police population is very low compared to the population of the policed. Two, the police are not usually trusted. Three, the police are not usually feared by those who create security threats. Four, the police are not as trained and equipped as necessary. And Five, the police almost always engage in wrong activities like harassing members of the public, guarding VIPs and robbing innocent citizens of their money and property. I've heard someone say that, in his area, there could be as many as 80 policemen guarding 20 homes. And some years ago, the then IGP Solomon Arase stated that so many policemen/women were actually occupied with carrying bags around for VIPs. But he also played the hypocrite near the end of his tenure when he held the microphone for the president to read an address during an event. Eye service regime of course. 

There are reports which claim that about 150,000 of our over 300,000 police personnel are occupied with guarding VIPs. Meanwhile, non-VIPs who really require police protection are being taken to the station and asked to bring N200,000 because they're wearing dreadlocks, carrying a laptop bag or having an iPhone. While the police are busy with all these activities, the Army are fighting insurgency in the North East, banditry in the North West, herdsmen in the Middle Belt, terrorism in the East, and militancy in the South. A lot of Army personnel are also involved in guarding VIPs and traditional rulers too. Sometimes, I see on the news that the Army Special Forces have arrested some petty amateur criminals and I shake my head in pity. 
The Army does everything from arresting pickpockets to election security to riverine security and you have to ask, 'why have the rest of the 300,000+ policemen (that are not guarding VIPs) doing their job? Is it an order from above or a personal choice?

What's Funny About Nigeria's Security Situation?

"I've just seen the IG, I think he's losing weight. So I think he's working very hard." 

The above statement was Nigeria's President Muhammadu Buhari's response to a question from the press about whether he would change the security strategy or not (in light of the frequency of killings and kidnapping in Northern Nigeria). Many Nigerians have referred to his words as an attempt at a light joke while others have said that it was perfectly in order. Whatever side of the divide you're on, two things are sure: One, the President recently returned from a private visit to the UK amidst alarming insecurity back at home. Two, those words above were one of the first that Nigerians heard from him on his arrival. 

Now, what really pained me about the entire situation was that he chuckled after making the statement in his trademark comic tone. And I ask, what's so funny? Or rather, who is he mocking? Is he mocking the scores of people that died in his absence, their families or Nigerians as a whole? Is the President supposed to be making light statements or statements followed by a chuckle when addressing a security issue especially when the nation is practically on fire? If you ask me, the man looks very comfortable with the current situation of the country despite the fact that most of the places under attack are the part of the country where he hails from. This was the status quo before he went for vague reasons to the UK, a trip he now makes as a routine activity, and on his return, he does not look or act sober, grieved or even determined to stop at nothing to protect his country. Why is that? Does he know something we don't? Does he care less because he has the UK to run to? By the way, this is not the first time he's made such jokes. He once jokingly asked Governor Samuel Ortom of the troubled Benue state, 'how are your cattle rearers?' A total mockery of the lives and security of our people!

IN US LIES ALL THE FAULT

I'd like to ask Nigerians the question: 'You spent so much effort driving out the military from power and 20 years later, wetin we gain?' By the time the infrastructure that the military put on ground expires, we will start jumping from tree branch to tree branch, right? Yes na, since all the roads will be useless, despite all the loans from China, Sukuk, London, Paris, etc. The military never waited for China o. After a bloody war with devastating effects, a certain youth by the name of Gowon, within a few years, criscrossed this country with roads and other vital infrastructure in the 70s as if it was the 22nd century! Compare that to the youth of nowadays. He's probably still waiting for them to call off the strike so he can complete his 7th year on his 4year course. 

 

The military never waited for Dangote to build a refinery o, they built their own: the ones we have failed to manage today. Even IBB of all people built the 3rd Mainland Bridge we all still use today. How many years ago was that? Some of these politicians' roads cannot last for 24 hours, overnight rain go wash am comot. The universities, stadiums, teacher training schools, colleges of education, etc. that were built during the military era, have we replaced them? Replace kwa! We can't even renovate them or even maintain them sef. 

 

The power is now back in the hands of the people, but what have we done with it so far? They said 'vote and one man will come from nowhere and take us to the Promised Land as if we kept any land somewhere'. After voting in 1999, the man did not appear. They said, 'vote again and the man will just land now now now'. After 2003 elections, the man was still nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, hunger dey sama man. But another voting in 2007, 2011, 2015, still no man. So where is this man?? Maybe it's traffic that's delaying him. You know Lagos roads na. Anyway, 2019 is slowly passing out and we're yet to see the man. We used our own hands to destroy our own country and we sit back waiting for a fantastic knight in shining armor to come and clear all our mess. Some people will say, 'supposing they did not annul June 12, we would have been in El Dorado by now'. They annulled June 12, but they did not annul June 13 and 14. By the way, that election would have also produced a politician. A Nigerian politician, not a spirit. What made Abiola or Tofa so special and superhuman and different from every other Nigerian politician? Stomach infrastructure? IBB was also doing it na. Anyway, I'm not seeking to condemn political rule and appraise military dictatorship. No. Even though, I prefer the latter, I'm seeking to make you understand that 'In Us Lies All The Fault'. The good leaders, bad leaders, military leaders, politicians.. they are all Nigerians. When we reject their mistakes and failings as foreign objects and deny ever knowing them, then we will do nothing but fail. You cannot begin to imagine the number of bad things the American military has done within and outside the US, but still the Americans don't hate hearing about their military like we do ours. Give credit to whom credit is due, accept your mistakes, correct them, don't repeat history and work ahead. Rwanda is a perfect example. Wrecked by genocide and war 25 years ago, they still rose up, found their feet and are now leading Africa in many areas. Why can't we do the same when our war was 50 years ago? No, we can't! Why? Because it's much easier to blame Obasanjo and curse Abacha while living in a condition far worse than the one they left us in.

WHY HAVE YOUR KIDS IN NIGERIA?

I've thought about it over and over and I can't help but agree with Falz's manager's advice that people should consider having their kids abroad instead of in Nigeria. Apart from the stigma of being born in a country with a not-so-nice reputation internationally, there are many other disadvantages to giving birth to a child in Nigeria.

Let's start from the beginning. When the woman is pregnant and it's time to deliver, there is lack of good roads and even transportation to get to the hospital. When you finally manage to get to the hospital, there will be insults from the nurses to the woman while the man is sent off to hunt for white cloth, hot water, blade, etc. Then talk of the fees for delivery (let's say you were responsible enough to prepare for that, but other eventualities will surely arise). If you manage to survive all that, and then finally get home, there are mosquitos and malaria waiting for you. If you did not purchase mosquito nets (which ought to be free), then the neighborhood mosquito association will invite mosquitos from other neighborhoods to welcome your wife and the new baby. 

Let's hope that your child and wife are still alive and healthy five years later. Then your child will grow up seeing epileptic power supply, bad roads, filthy environment, madness on the roads (especially if you live in Lagos), open defecation, irresponsible government, dead economy, meager minimum wage, unqualified teachers, illiterate headmasters/headmistresses, half naked girls and women who are exercising their rights to dress the way they like, lack of potable drinking water, police brutality, military brutality, extrajudicial killings, SARS harassment, pervasive corruption, etc. etc. Let's put patriotism aside and be frank with ourselves. This country is a psychological eyesore! It is ranked the 6th most miserable country on the planet. If your child is born here, he will have a life expectancy of 55 years! That's if SARS doesn't kill him first. There's also a high probability that he will live below the poverty line. Yes, I know. God forbid, right? But heaven helps those who help themselves. If your child, when he becomes an adult, lives and works (if he ever gets a sensible job) in Lagos, he will wake up at 4am, arrive home from work at 12 midnight or 1am. He will, due to lack of sleep, become irritable. He will quarrel and fight on the road; he will breathe exhaust fumes in traffic; he will (due to the state of the hospitals) engage in self-medication i.e. he will buy medicines in a region where 30% of all pharmaceutical products are fake; he will get married to a woman who will most likely spend a lot of his money on the wrong things; he will perhaps have to fend for members of his extended family and that of his wife; he will struggle with all the things you are currently struggling with and even more; and last but not the least, he will have children who will suffer all what he has suffered all his life! 

And one day, your child will travel abroad for the first time in his life. He will see how differently things are done and how almost perfect everything is and he will feel overwhelmed and out of place. He will walk like an agric fowl and will fall prey to fraudsters, swindlers and many others who will take advantage of him. When he comes back to Nigeria, he will go back to the crazy life that he's comfortable with and if he's unlucky enough to join politics, he will most likely lead the charge to make life more miserable for his people. And yes, the cycle continues.